Living here is making me a blank slate. All the things that were once important and necessary to me are slowly being removed or altered.

Every time I connect with family back home, Alabama football is one of the main topics that we talk about. This has made me realize how SEC football has been the dominant factor of my fall schedule for 22 years. If you live in the Southeast, fall = football season, and if you're an Alabama football fan, you can't help but talk about the Tide in nearly every conversation during this time of the year. The environment supports this lifestyle. Here, there is no environment for SEC football. I watch the games at 3 am or 5 am on Sunday mornings, and if Alabama plays a great game and is victorious over a rival team, the game ends and I'm hit with the realization that I live in East Asia. If Alabama plays a terrible game and (possibly) loses to a rival team, the game ends and again, I'm hit with the realization that I live in East Asia. Without the environment of a "gameday", or the smell of an autumn breeze outside, or the faint (or loud) sound of hearing "Sweet Home Alabama" playing from someone's car, house, porch, or RV, it is hard to have the same excitement about football. I know it's just football, but it's our culture. I'm learning that part of living in another culture is having to leave some of your culture behind to gain some of theirs.

I'm also realizing how little time I spend here worrying about what I'm wearing, how my hair looks, etc- overall, my appearance is becoming even more invaluable to me. I'm still taking care of myself- I haven't let myself go to the point where I'm wearing oversized sweatsuits and baseball caps everyday. I just see how unimportant it is to spend so much money and time investing in these garments I put on my body. Once again, the environment does not support this lifestyle of value in appearance like America does. I could continue to dress in fashionable style everyday here, but what is the point? People here wear the same outfit everyday, which I may add is very trendy and stylish to my taste. If it doesn't matter so much to me here, why does it matter to me in America? If there is no point here, then why is there a point to it in America? My Asian friends see me as beautiful and worthy of their friendship regardless of how I look. And I think my American friends do too. I think the difference is my heart's motives behind what I put on and how I fix myself. Here, my heart is void of the need for approval and pride in my appearance. I can replace my "want" for pride in my appearance with the "want" to know people for the beautiful person they are beneath their skin. As I lose the importance of appearance, I can replace it with what matters- loving people.

SoI gain some and I lose some. Losing the excitement of football is a loss, but losing the importance of appearance and materialism is a gain.